the result can be
a loser who can't
tell the difference between

a hug and a threat
a promise and a bribe
a relationship and a hostage situation
dry it up
how I cringe when I think of those words
he's in the front seat
i'm sobbing in the back
d r y   i t   u p

if only i could
if only that would fix everything
if i could dry it up
i would
little pink mini-tab
half a hit
and sleep washes over me
benedryl induced slumber
is all i get these days
and midnight is
way too late
if i think i'm really gonna
make it
in the sunshine

speaking of...

darker mornings
make for longer naps
and fighting dreams
bells and whistles
and cuckoo clocks
to justify




i'm everything,
but i mean everything,
you thought you'd lost
but you can't have me
i am unavailable to you
out of your reach
not what you need

not black
not white
not yes
not no
far beyond tomorrow
not quite reaching yesterday

i'm all of it
all that escaped you

every remembrance of
a cigarette smoked
and crushed
and embers glowed

every instance of
a page read
and crushed
and plots thickened

every morning of
a glass of milk spilled
and crushed
and tears shed

every flutter of
a brown eye winking
and crushed
and blinking back tears

every dream
tomorrow into

every thought
me into

i've got
what you
are you looking
are you missing
are you
how many blemishes do you have?

aside from this one on my chin
there is you

and my twenties
and that one stop sign ticket
because the rest have fallen off of my record

and the one on my chin is clearing up really
by tomorrow you won't even be able to see it

when i get high
i think i can fly
and i am so afraid
i will shoot for the stars
and end up in a heap
in a broken pile
a mess that no one
can pick up




having imitation safety bits is
than facing the world buck naked,
spilling coffee
and baring an injured soul.
when i thought i knew who you were
i couldn't get enough of your ranting
and goofy grins

now that i know you are who you are
i don't know if i can keep you because
when you make me smile sorta
i feel betrayed
stars and buckets
buckets and stars
he is not here
he's overthar
'roun the corner
smokin' cigars
stars and buckets
buckets and stars
ever been there?
yep. been there.
you lied.
there was no where
you could have been
there was no where
you could have gotten it

machines twirl
bells whistle
patrons shriek

why lie?