genie from a cigarette

i'm everything,
but i mean everything,
you thought you'd lost
but you can't have me
i am unavailable to you
out of your reach
not what you need

not black
not white
not yes
not no
far beyond tomorrow
not quite reaching yesterday

i'm all of it
all that escaped you

every remembrance of
a cigarette smoked
and crushed
and embers glowed

every instance of
a page read
and crushed
and plots thickened

every morning of
a glass of milk spilled
and crushed
and tears shed

every flutter of
a brown eye winking
and crushed
and blinking back tears

every dream
reflecting
tomorrow into
yesterday

every thought
reflecting
me into
you

i've got
what you
lost
are you looking
are you missing
are you
there?